Marcoplier Gaming
by Exotos135
Summary: Sequel, sort of, to Marcoplier. Marco has decided to return to his Marcoplier persona in order to entertain his fans and everybody else.
1. Would You Rather (Challenge)

Marco adjusts his glasses as he says his intro.

"Hello everybody, my name is Marcoplier, and welcome to Would You Rather! Now before you ask, yes, I think I've done this before, but I have an idea to make this feel different than last time."

Marcoplier reaches something and lifts up, revealing it's the boozled beans as the Zelda "Object get" music is played. "Boozled Beans!" shouts the gamer in obviously faked excitement. "Infamously disgusting beans that will murder my tasting buds!"

"Anyway, I don't wanna waste anymore time, so let's go!"

* * *

Would You Rather:

 **A.) Lose your front teeth in a skateboarding accident**

or

 **B.) Break your hands on a bike**

* * *

"So I either get hurt alongside or thanks to Jackie or I get hurt alongside or thanks to... Do I know anybody who owns a bike?"

"Anyway, I think I'll go with the skateboard."

71% of people disagreed with his choice.

"Well, shit. Alright, time for the beans."

Marcoplier grabs the spinning wheel thing and spins it. The wheel ends on Buttered Popcorn/Rotten Egg. "Huh, well that's not so bad." remarks the gamer as he looks for the corresponding bean. "What the fuck am I saying, all of these are horrible."

Once he got the bean, Marcoplier shows it to the camera and shouts "Okay, 1, 2, 3, GO!" before he eats the bean. After a couple seconds, the guy is practically trying his hardest not to barf out what he just ate. He ingests it, and after catching his breath, a cut happens and now he's holding a glass of water.

"Protip: never eat a boozled bean without a glass of water." he says as he drinks the water. "Okay, let's move on."

* * *

Would You Rather:

 **A.) Be a Slytherin**

or

 **B.) Be a Griffyndor**

* * *

"Neither, 'cause I don't really care about Harry Potter. I mean, the magic and all that stuff is interesting, but it just doesn't catch my interest. But anyway, I'll try to get this over with quick. Griffyndor."

74% of people agreed with his choice.

"Yeah, I won't have to eat a bean! Now's the time to move on and increase the chance of that happening exponentially."

Marcoplier goes silent and gives the camera a horrified stare before he goes to the next question.

* * *

Would You Rather:

 **A.) Be electrocuted every time you swear**

or

 **B.) Have all profanities censored out in your television**

* * *

"Well, here we got an interesting question, I either get hurt everytime I swear, but not when everybody else does, or my home's TV has all the profanities censored, erasing practically 90% of the humor." after thinking about it for a moment, Marcoplier gets a genius look and goes Phoenix Wright on the camera. "If only my TV gets affected by the censoring, I can just go to someone else's house

"And if I don't succeed the first time, I can always ask Janna for specialized training. Anyway, I'll pick the second one."

56% of people agreed with his choice.

"Hooray! I won't eat a bean again!" shouts the gamer. "I'll have to eat one eventually, I noticed, but please be patient, I might pick the right answer by complete accident!"

* * *

Would You Rather:

 **A.) Be homeless and hungry but always loved by your pefect partner**

or

 **B.) Have a fabulous house and amazing food but never have loved or been loved**

* * *

Marcoplier just stares at the camea in disbelief, though his smile suggested amusement. "If I'm going to be loved by my pefect partner, then I won't stay homeless or hungry anymore once she comes into my life. 'Cause she'll give me a home, a warm bed-in her voluptous body-and an awesome new life! Then again, it might be quite a while before she comes up."

"Anyway, I'd rather be homeless and hungry."

65% of people agreed with his choice.

"I told ya I would pick the right choices by complete accident!"

* * *

Would You Rather:

 **A.) Drive a smart car**

* * *

"Star! How many times do I have to tell you not to turn my scooter into a sentient, intelligent car!" scolds Marcoplier.

* * *

or

 **B.) Drive a Lamborghini and fill up 4 times a week**

* * *

Marcoplier looks horrified and quickly picks the first option. "No way am I gonna drive that piece of shit. My car might be smarter than me, but at least I don't have to fill it up 4 times a week, geez."

55% of people disagreed with his choice.

"What?! Are you serious?!" the gamer groans as he reaches for the spinning wheel.

The wheel ends on Berry Blue/Toothpaste. Thinking this wouldn't be so bad, Marcoplier takes the correpsonding bean and eats it.

It ends up being toothpaste. Yet surprisingly enough, Marcoplier doesn't have a hard time trying not to gag.

* * *

Would You Rather:

 **A.) Be Aquaman**

or

 **B.) Be The Human Torch**

* * *

"Well, either I end up as someone who gets mocked by everybody, or a sentient flame that has an energetic personality."

"This is practically asking me if I want to be either me or Star. I'll pick The Human Torch."

64% of people agreed with his choice.

"I knew it! Everybody wants to rip-off Star!"

* * *

Would You Rather:

 **A.) Have unlimited access to money but no access to women**

or

 **B.) Be surrounded by women but be poor**

* * *

"Would the women surrounding me have money, or are they poor as well? That's a pretty damn important detail you're keeping a secret from me, game." Marcoplier thinks about the question. "Having unlimited money sounds good in concept, but not only do I fuck up the economy, but I end up losing Star. And Jackie. And my mom. And every other girl I could care about! Fuck it, I'd rather be poor!"

54% of people agreed with his choice.

"Besides, I already got my own harem." says the smug gamer.

* * *

Would You Rather:

 **A.) Be friends with John Wilkes Boothe**

or

 **B.) Be friends with Lee Harvey Oswald**

* * *

"...I don't know who the fuck they are. Well, actually, I think I remember John Wilkes Boothe from a history lesson back when I was younger."

"He was, uh, Abraham Lincoln's killer! Or maybe he kileld John F. Kennedy? I don't know, I'm not in the mood to focus about story right now. I guess I'll pick him."

52% of people disagreed with him.

"WHAT?!"

Marcoplier spins the wheel while muttering "I swear these beans are gonna be the death of me." as he waits for the wheel to stop.

It stops on Tutti Frutti/Stinky Socks.

The gamer grabs the corresponding bean and soon eats it. At first, there's no taste, but then he desperately grabs his hoodie, brings it up and pulls it down as he shouts something unintelligible.

* * *

Would You Rather:

 **A.) Play Roblox**

or

 **B.) Play Minecraft**

* * *

"Roblox, because what's the fucking difference?"

84% of people disagreed with his choice.

The guy was so amazed by the response that his jaw fell off. "Well, that's the fucking difference!" he yells as he reaches for the wheel and spins it once more.

It ends in Licorice/Skunk Spray. "Jenovah, libera me de ore ejus, ut cruciatus est faba." utters the guy as he reaches for the bean.

He eats it, tastes it for a moment...and then it turns out to be licorice. "Hallelujah, It's licorice!" shouts Marcoplier to the heavens. "Why am I so happy? I don't even like licorice that much. I don't hate it, or even dislike it, I'm simply neutral towards it."

"Okay, I'll do one more, and then we're done!"

* * *

Would You Rather:

 **A.) Wear high heels**

or

 **B.) Wear a dress**

* * *

Marcoplier gives the camera an "are you serious?" look before picking the dress option. "Dress for days, dress for nights, dress for the win!"

62% of people agreed with his choice.

"Let the crossdresser legion rise from obscurity into the mainstream, governed by their eternal ruler, Queen Marco!" shouts Marco before he realizes he's still in his normal clothes. "Be back in a bit."

"Behold, Queen Marco!" yells the guy, now wearing a poofy purple dress, with his hair tied in a long ponytail. Not to mention he now wears lipstick, has prominent eyelashes and holds a staff in his right hand. He laughs for a moment, and then adds, in a deadpan voice, "But seriously though, dresses are awesome."

"And that's all I got for today, everybody. Did you like the challenge? Should I do it again sometime? Should I continue with this Queen Marco persona and play crossdressing games? Let me know in the comments below. Thanks everybody for watching and as always, I will see you...in the next fanfiction. Adios!"

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"Let's analyze my previous statement: If I do end up ruling the rising crossdresser legion, what the hell am I supposed to do with it?"


	2. Vs Trigoras (AQWorlds)

Back in AQWorlds, Marcoplier watches the dormant monster Trigoras in his strongest form, who gives him a furious glare as he waits for his attack. Seeing as his level wasn't even a third of the monster's, Marcoplier talks to it.

"You know, you might be a giant evil hydra-dragon-thing capable of tearing off my skin and wearing it as a discount fur coat, but perhaps we can come to an agreeme-"

A second after the battle starts, Trigoras one-shots Marcoplier while a voiceover for "FUCK YOU I'M A DRAGON!" plays.

"Okay, I got the hint!" yells the youtube as he instantly logs off.

He takes a moment to catch his breath before asking, "What's wrong with me and facing creatures stronger than me?"


	3. July 11th

Marco was deciding what game to play when Star came out of nowhere. "Hey, Marco, I just found out something incredible about July 11th of this year!" she exclaimed.

"There's going to be a new Steven Universe episode that day?!" exclaimed the guy in amazement. "I need to verify this!"

"Marco, isn't there anything else you would like to learn outside of new Steven Universe episodes?" inquired the exasperated princess.

Marco thought about it for a moment as the "Season 2 Premiere" bit got into his head. A couple seconds later, he answered, "Nope! None that I can think of!"


	4. CHKN

Marco gives the camera a sly smile as he says, "Behold, my greatest-and first-creation I've made so far!"

His screen shirnks down to a square at the top of the screen to reveal a giant monstrosity that combines parts of a chicken, a horse, a giraffe, a dog, and a snake, on a lower body combining said animals as well. "Chicken-Horse-Giraffe-Dog-Snake-Zilla!"

A still picture of the abomination appears with the captions "OMG WTF IS THIS?!" as epic music plays.

Then it's silenced as Marcoplier gleefully adds, "I named him Ludo."


	5. Ultimate Spider-Man: Green Goblin Chaos

Marcoplier, in a small square on the top middle of the screen, waves hello as he says his intro. "Hello everybody, my name is Marcoplier, and welcome to Marvel Spider-Man: Green Goblin Chaos, at least I think that's what it's called because the version I got is in spanish.

"Now, in case you haven't noticed, this game is based on Ultimate Spider-Man, I think so anyway and while I will admit it had rough beginnings...well, it's entirely subjective whether it's gotten good or just remained bad, but it's got a 4th season, that must mean it's done something right."

"Or maybe it caught Jessie Favoritism Syndrome from the halloween crossover, that could be the reason too."

"Anyway, let's begin!"

Marco presses start and after a short loading screen, the game begins with a splash screen, with Green Goblin at the left side and Spider-Man at the right side.

 _"Taste defeat, Spider-Man!"_

 _"Not even in your dreams, Green Goblin!"_

Then it cuts straight to the instructions.

"Don't you just wish this was how the average episode played out? Minimal dialogue and straight to the action?"

One quick instructions tour later, Marco begins the game proper. Basically, he moves from left to right and jump and down and all around to avoid the bombs thrown by the goblin for 2 minutes. "Is this literally all the game is?" questions the gamer. "It's not really that hard."

 **(A 1 minute and 30 seconds left)**

The bombs are thrown at a much faster rate, forcing Marco to move all around the place. "This got really fucking hectic all of a sudden, but I won't give up just yet!"

"Now that I think about it, why doesn't Spider-Man throw back the bombs or do something to them other than dodge them?" questions the gamer. "I mean, seeing as this is Spider-Man we're talking about, he should be able to come up with something as simple as that."

"You know what, why do I even complain? It's not that this game got that hard all of a sudden."

 **(30 seconds left)**

Marco moves all around the place in a panic as the bombs explode faster. "Why must I invite casualty to fuck me over?!" yells the gamer in exasperation.

"And now another thing missing from this game: why can't any of his "buddies" so to speak, since they act more like bullies than anything, come to help?" utters Marco. "I mean yes, they're assholes, but as far as I know they're not busy, so why can't they get their asses out of whatever they're doing and come help poor Spidey? He's your teammate, for crying out loud!"

After the timer finally ends, a picture of Spider-Man shooting webs at the screen appears as the next text appears:

 _"Good job! Play again!"_

"Aw, come on, I don't even get to kick the Green Goblin's ass?! What a rip-off!" whines the gamer.

In almost an instant, his tone changes to unsurprised. "Then again, what else did I expect? This is Ultimate Spider-Man we're talking about."

"Anyway, thanks you guys so much for watching! Check out Exotos135 and SonicELITE's accounts for more content, and as always, I'll see you...in the next fanfiction. Adios!"

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.

Marcoplier walks around the place, yelling "Penn" repeatedly.

After doing so for 3 times, he's now suddenly sitting on his chair as he gives his explanation. "I thought that if I said Penn Zero's first name repeatedly, he would call back "Zero" kinda like how people say "Polo" after hearing my name."

After a couple seconds of silence, he blurts. "I get the feeling that's not how it works."


	6. MINE!

Star walked around the Diaz Household when she suddenly came across a plate of nachos. Once she grabbed it and took a nacho, the girl faintly heard someone shout "Mine!" repeatedly, which started to sound closer and closer as the girl looked for the source.

A second later, Marco came out of nowhere, punched Star away and took the plate of nachos for himself.

"Mine!" stated the guy before devouring the nachos.


	7. Room Ruckus (Steven Universe)

_Marco is making Steven rapidly jump between platforms. "If there's something that their modern programming has taught me, it's that-"_

 _And then he falls over and dies. "Fuck nickelodeon!"_

* * *

"Hello everybody, my name is Marcoplier, and today we got a special guest on the fic!"

A familiar dark-skinned child came in and sat on a chair next to Marco. "It's Connie Maheswaran!" exclaimed the girl.

Fake audience clapping is heard as Connie gives everyone a double peace sign. "Now you may be wondering what is Connie doing here. Well, since it's been a while that she's appeared in her own show, I figure I could invite her to play a game with me while we wait for her to make an appearance."

"They left me behind!" whines Connie before fake-crying on Marco's shoulder...for about a couple seconds. "Oh well, I'm over it now!"

"And now you may wonder, what game are we playing today?"

The screen became a small square at the left top, where it was revealed Marco had a game with Steven on a platform in what looks like Rose's bedroom. "Room Ruckus!" exclaims Connie, performing jazz hands.

"It's kinda like a jumping frog, or whatever that game was named, only styled after Steven Universe."

"You jump from platform to platform. That's more or less it, disregarding the updates."

"Yeah okay, we'll look at the updates first then play this game for about 3 times, then we'll stop because as everybody should know, the lucky number is 3!" explains the gamer.

"That, and games like this tend to become repetitive very fast." adds Connie.

"Oh right, that's always a good reason."

One click later, Marco and Connie are now at the upgrade shop. Marco checks the upgrades while Connie speaks. "So the things we can buy is a longer bonus, a longer time to use the magnet, extended cookie cat effect or more lives."

The girl remains silent for a moment before shrugging and asking, "Where are Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst?"

One second later, Marco is now playing the game and trying to concentrate on the game...before abruptly pointing out, "Is it just me, or does Steven have shines in his eyes?"

A closer look at the character model reveals he has shines in his eyes. "Holy shit, he does have shines in his eyes! I don't know why, but I find that really bizarre!"

"Okay, let's hope I don't mess this up." Marco holds the spacebar for a moment, jumps...and immediately falls into the pit. "Dang it! How am I supposed to land correctly on a platform if they don't show me where I'm gonna land?"

"That's part of the fun!" Connie cheerfully adds as Marco quickly tries again.

"More like part of the frustration."

"Is there a difference?" quips Connie as Marco falls off once again.

Another instant fail almost immediately later, Marco is shocked to see how many coins he needs to retry. "It costs 50 gem coins to retry?! Well then, this game suddenly turned into a gridnfest all of a sudden!"

"Trust me, there have been worse cases."

 **(Connie's turn)**

"Okay, time to try get somewhere and not suck as hard as Marcoplier." says the girl.

"HEY!" yells the offended teenager offscreen.

Connie plays for a while while talking. "I honestly don't know why the network had to divide the 3rd season into a 4th and a 5th. I mean, if they were trying to justify the infamous hiatuses for once, then they didn't do that good of a job at it-"

And then, Connie makes Steven fall off the edge. "Crap."

Back in the game, Connie continues speaking. "I mean, if you wanna give a show more seasons, that's fine, but there are better ways to do that! Besides, taking into account the hiatus that followed the last episode in january, at the beginning of the-"

Suddenly, she falls off the edge again. "-Fucking year!"

Connie takes a deep breath before resuming. "And that one was a hell of a hiatus. I know it wasn't as long as previous hiatuses, and it's practically a short wait compared to some other ones, but it was still a pretty damn exercise just to wait for it. I know, there were other things to look forward too, I get it, but if you have a pretty damn good show, you should make sure to give it a consistent-"

And then Steven falls off again at the edge. "Kick in the nuts! Good lord, Steven, could you get even more fat? Could you be a real asshole and get even more fat? Because as far as I know, you should be able to land on those stupid platforms with ease, and not fall off the edge like a rock! I know you're half-rock, but seriously, fuck you Steven!"

"Not you, real Steven, I love you." adds the girl with a kiss.

 **(Marco's turn)**

"Okay, last turn, then chapter's over."

Marco plays a bit while he talks. "You know, I used to think Nickelodeon sucked. And to be fair, they have been sucking for quite a while: terrible shows and rip-offs, stupidly high amount of toilet humor, it was quite a mess for a while, but now it has come back in slight force: here's Harvey Beaks, The Loud House, in fact-"

Then the moment from the intro is replicated.

One cut later, Marco is catching his breath as he plays again. "Okay, let's see, what else can I talk about before I inevitably mess up again? Oh right, the Powerpuff Girls reboot...well, it's kinda like my gameplay-"

And then he dies once more. "-It sucks."

In the final try, Marco speaks a bit more clearly. "But really, though, it's not the best, but not the worst. At the very least, it's something that can potentially entertain you as long as you don't end up watching a bad episode-"

And then Steven falls off the edge. "Just like my gameplays!"

"Anyway, that's all for today everybody. Thanks for coming today Connie."

"I'm glad I could do something for once." replies Connie. "Thank you guys so much for watching!"

"Are you doing my outro?" blurts the teenager, sounding slightly angry.

"Check out Exotos135 and SonicELITE's accounts for more content." adds Connie, blissfully unaware of the guy's building anger.

"Connie, stop it."

"And as always, he'll see you..."

"Don't you dare..."

"In the next fanfiction, bye-bye!"

Connie immediately runs away as she expects Marco to chase after her. However, the teenager remains behind and gives the camera a grumpy look as he says, "I hate it when people say my outro."

.

.

.

.

Connie pops back in and suggests, "We could've bought some upgrades to spice up gameplay."

Marco scratches his chin in contemplation, then gives the idea a dismissive wave. "No, I don't think it's worth it."


	8. Hiatus Song

Marcoplier, wearing a lamp over his head, walked around his room as he sung:

 _Just this morning,_

 _I was told,_

He continued as the scenery changed to Star's bedroom, where the girl joined the guy in his singing and walking.

 _That the hiatus,_

 _Has come and gone!_

Up next was the skate park, with Jackie joining the mix.

 _So now that the wait,_

 _Is finally done,_

Back at the guy's room, the trio continued walking.

 _It's a matter of time,_

 _Before the schedule's boned!_

And then they clashed and hit the ground.


	9. What If Scenarios: Monster Arm

"Hello everybody, my name is Marcoplier, and welcome to a what-if segment!" Marcoplier says in the middle of his bedroom. "This is a segment where I discuss what could have potentially happened had certain things go differently, and what better way to start then by discussing the episode that inspired endless Rule 34, also known as Monster Arm?"

"Now there are two main scenarios I'll discuss in these segments: the best case scenario, and the worst case scenario. I'm sure you can figure out what each of them is about just by seeing their names, so let's cut straight to the chase!"

* * *

 **"Best case scenario: I don't break my arm."**

* * *

"Now, obviously, the episode changes completely-and becomes kinda boring-if I don't break my arm because then Star has no reason to turn my non-injured arm into monster arm, which changes the episode accordingly."

"Beyond discussing HOW I would end up not breaking my arm, there's not much to discuss, so let's focus on that."

"The first way my arm doesn't break is if I successfully managed to break all three planks of wood. And I'm sorry, but that's a practically impossible scenario."

Marco "flexes" his "muscles" for a moment before going back to normal. "I mean, have you seen my arms? I'm practically a spanish stick figure!"

"Now, the second way my arm doesn't break is if I decide to stop training after breaking a single plank of wood." Marcoplier smiles for a moment before shaking his head. "Now, let's be honest: who has ever stopped training with the planks of wood after breaking a single one? Very few, as far as I know, but I admit the possibility is still there for something to go wrong."

"Alright, let's head to the more interesting scenario."

* * *

 **"Worst case scenario: Star conjures up a different kind of "monster arm" altogether."**

* * *

"Now THIS is where things get a little weird and a little wild. Yes, I did a shout-out to the opening, don't go bothering me about it!"

"Now, I realize there are, like, a billion ways this can go, but let's focus on what I think is my favorite variation. And guys, once I say what am I talking about and just before you throw hate mail at me, let me make this clear: the only reason this variation is my favorite is for the sheer direction the episode would go: it's both hilarious, and sad. So here I go!"

Marcoplier catches his breath and, after a second or two, answers. "Star, turns my injured arm, into an exact copy of Jackie Lynn-Thomas from the waist up."

Nothing happens. "Huh, I expected to be bombarded with tomatoes or something. But anyway, let me explain."

As the gamer explains, a crudely drawn presentation of the events is drawn.

"It all goes like normal, I'm on my bed whining and Star's looking for a spell to cure me, but instead of finding a spell that would create monster, she finds a spell that would turn my injured arm into a copy of my loved one from the waist up. So Star, not checking the spell for whatever reason, casts it and turns my injured arm into a discount Jackie Lynn-Thomas."

"Increased awkwardness notwithstand, the rest of the episode would go as normal up until the part with Lars. Now, I can only think of one way this scene can go like: Lars freaks out and flees. That's literally the only way I can think this scene can happen and work."

"Now, let's focus on what happens next: Janna, Hope and Jackie seeing my arm and their reactions. Jackie, obviously, would be perplexed at best, and horrified at worst. I'm thinking that Hope and Janna would either react similarly, or only Hope since Janna seems to like the creepy things in general. This makes me sad and escape the school while Star tries to apologize for it."

"Back at home, I cry about what happened when Arm!Jackie talks and this either goes the Monster Arm way or the alternate way, Monster Arm Way has the Jackie arm act just like Monster Arm, and I'm sorry but I can't see that being a possibility. When it comes to Jackie, I just think she's too much of a nice girl to be that monstrous."

"Janna? Probably. Brittney? Absolutely. Jackie? Not even in my wildest dreams."

"So in the alternate, she probably tries to conform me or something, and while Star practices her..."unarming" spell? I don't know how to pronounce it-anyway, while she practices that spell, I talk with Arm Jackie for a bit and, when Star returns, I decide to refuse being "un-Jackie-armed" until she apologizes."

"Whatever happens next, she does, Jackie Arm vanishes and we end on an intriguing note implying that she'll be back."

* * *

"And that's what I think would happen if Monster Arm had gone differently. Did you like it? Did you not like it? Let me know in the comments below, alongside some suggestions for future fics, and I'll see you...in the next fanfiction. Adios!"

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"I wonder what would have happened had Star turned my injured arm into a copy of herself...that would definitely be hilarious!"


	10. Attack of the FutureBots!

Marcoplier gives the camera a seemingly faked smile before he blurts, "Do you remember the Fairly Odd Parents? You probably do, because it's gotten quite the reputation right now."

"First it was a good tv show, then it got like a couple TV Movies made for it-they were good, nothing spectacular but hardly anything is-and then Nickelodeon started to milk it dry. They gave it more movies, which were all over the range of quality, some movies for the cinema, which were a hundred percent garbage, and now it's on it's 10th season."

"And you thought Spongebob had it bad."

"...He does, but FOP should also be recognized for how bad it's had it recently."

"If only cartoons could stop having easily expandable plots and start putting up story arcs with a definite beginning and end-oh wait."

"Anyway, I've talked for far longer than anybody would ever care to listen, so let's do a proper introduction."

"Hello everybody, my name is Marcoplier, and sorry for the incredibly long rant I just spout out, but for the sake of time let's focus at the game I got at hand." Marcoplier's screen turns into a small square screen to reveal the game's title screen. "Battle of the Futurebots! And the description says: magic and tech are together at last in the ultimate bot battle!"

"I thought magic and tech have always been together, I mean, how else can stuff like giant robots or function without magic? Magic is the answer to everything!"

"How has Mewni not fallen yet? Magic."

"Why does everybody ship me with my best friend? Magic."

"Wander Over Yonder not getting a third season? Bad luck, which is a type of magic...I think."

Marco presses start, skips the intro and starts building his robot. "Okay, so what should I give my robot? Well, he should have LAZERS!, be stupidly strong and be fast as fuck. That sounds like a robot that's gonna help me win the game!"

"It's not gonna last long, is it?" he asks as he finishes his robot and presses "ready".

He gets a quick explanation of how to control his robot, and he's particularly shocked. "Why would you give me a laser attack if I can't spam it like crazy?!" he shouts "What's the logic behind that?!"

"Anyway, let's get started."

The game begins by showing Marco the tower of 10 levels, with the 10th one having a picture of a brain. "I have to go through 10 levels to win the game?" whines the gamer before changing to a cheerful persona. "Good thing I can just edit away the times when I'm silent!"

 **(Later, at _Level 5_ )**

"Imma firin mah lazer!" yells Marcoplier as he presses the space bar.

The laser turns out to be very small and slow. "Wow, that laser's so overwhelming." he says sarcastically.

The laser still kills the robot's remaining health, winning the level. "It definitely was ovewhelming to him, hahaha!"

 **(Later again, at Level 7)**

"I don't know why it took me so long to notice, but the ultimate bot showdown is practically the future version of Rock Em Sock Em Robots."

 **(Even later, at Level 9)**

"You know what this game feels like? It feels like going through a boss rush, only instead of going through bosses that give you a fair bit of challenge, you're just going against mooks with health bars."

 **(Final Level)**

"Okay, time to end this game, sorry that I had to cut out so much content everybody, but I simply had nothing to say in any of them."

And then the Big Brain speaks. _"So, you made it past my guard robots! But, how many can you handle at once?"_

The implication causes Marco's smirk to turn into a grimace. "Is there seriously going to be a mook rush inside this mook rush?" he utters in horror. "Please tell me there's not gonna be a mook rush inside this mook rush!"

And then it turns out to be two robots. "Oh, it's just two." after a short pause, Marco yells, "WELL, WHAT A WAY TO FUCK WITH MY EXPECTATIONS, GAME!"

Once he destroys the two robots, Cosmo and Wanda return to normal and the victory screen shows:

You did it!

Cosmo and Wanda are normal again!

"Oh come on, that's it?! I don't even get to fight the big brain himself?!" growls the gamer. "Well, I guess that makes sense, it would probably be even more anticlimactic than the one-against-two battle. But anyway...this game was a disappointment, it works just fine, but it's...underwhelming."

"Anyway, thank you guys so much for watching! Check out Exotos135 or SonicELITE's accounts for more content. If you wanna request me to play some other games, suggest on the reviews and comments below, and I'll see you...in the next fanfiction. Adios!"

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Marcoplier waits for the leaderboard to load. "Come on, baby, show me that I was at the top!" he pleads.

And then the leaderboard fails to load. "Dang it!"


	11. Updateless

Marcoplier surfs the internet. "You know, there used to be a time where people freaked out when Scott didn't update teasers for...was it FNAF 3 or Fnaf 4? Anyway, people freaked out over the fact he didn't update for a long time."

Once he enters the Scottgames page, it has the same teaser as before.

"I don't know how long it has been, but I feel like we're in those times again."

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"Wouldn't it be hilarious if, after I refresh the page, the next teaser would appear?"

Marcoplier refreshes the page, but the teaser remains the same.

"My disappointment has ascended, to sadhood."


	12. Clicker

Marco repeatedly attacked a monster in a clicker game.

"You know, clicker games are something Star would probably find relatable: fighting utter pushover excuses for monsters, and they can't even do anything about it." and with this statement, Marco got an idea. "You know what? I'll show this game to Star, she's probably going to like it."

Literally a couple seconds of playing the game later, Marco restrained an enraged Star, who waved a plank of wood at the machine.

"How. Dare. You. Lie. To. Me!" the princess hissed.


	13. Cleverbot Evie (Part 1)

Marcoplier takes a deep breath as Evie smiles like the absolute dumbass she is. Once he feels ready, he presses the microphone button and says, "Hello everybody, my name is Marcoplier, and welcome to cleverbot Evie!"

And then his words were registered. Just not in the same way he said them. "Halo, jersey lobby, irane shark multiplier, and wallace so beaver slot Ivy."

...

"WHAT?!"

 _"Okay. I'm sorry that I upset you. I did not mean to."_

"We're off to a fan-fucking-tastic start!" exclaims the gamer in the middle of a laughing fit. "Last time, I wasn't able to survive the monkey version of this bitch, so let me see if I can last a significant time with her this time. My statements will be normal, and Evie's will be in italics."

"Hi Evie, how are you doing?"

 _"Fairly well thank you, I just ingested some tacos now I'm reading and chatting with you."_

The statement makes Marcoplier drop his jaw. "You had tacos and you didn't even share with me?!" the inception music plays as Marcoplier remains shocked...and then changes to indifferent. "I don't care, I'm neutral towards tacos. Now, if they had been nachos, I would have been pissed."

"Do you like nachos?"

 _"I love them! It's in my culture! :) How about yourself?_

"Evie is latin? 'Cause taking her reputation into account, I would find that rather offensive. Latin people aren't nearly as stupid as Evie, everybody! Some are, but not all of them." remarks Marcoplier before writing down his answer. "I love them too, we should totally go on a date!"

As he waits for the answer, Marcoplier adds, "Because that's how it works, right? You two share something in common? It's dating time!"

"I ate French fries yesterday."

"Good for you, but you didn't answer my proposition."

"Let's go out on a date!"

 _"You can't move from your server room."_

"Of course I can't, how can I move from a place I'm not currently at?"

"Then let's do the date here."

 _"Uhh... Are you a boy or a girl?"_

"Well, on the one hand, I have a penis. On the other hand, I look absolutely fabulous in a dress!"

"I'm a youtuber!"

 _"A girl. Who's better, Edward or Jacob from Twilight?"_

Marcoplier turns to the camera with a perplexed look. "Do people still give a shit about Twilight in 2016? In fact, is Twilight even a thing anymore in 2016? I mean, I know the franchise is terrible, but come on!"

"Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion."

As he waits for the answer, Marcoplier adds, "I would say Kaworu, but that's too obvious."

 _"What's Neon Genesis Evangelion?"_

"The question of the millenium everybody, and probably of most of you right now, what is Neon Genesis Evangelion?"

"IT'S THE BEST ANIME FRANCHISE EVER!"

Marcoplier adds in a deadpan tone, "It's not, it's decent at best."

 _"Hetalia is the best anime."_

"Okay, now I'm the one wondering what the hell is that."

"What's Hetalia?"

 _"An anime about personified countries."_

"Star! Did you pitch an anime about personified countries sometime ago!" yells Marcoplier, only to focus back on Evie. "The fuck am I talking about, Star doesn't do anime."

"That sounds stupid."

That's what he meant to write, but he added a "d" to stupid. "That sounds stupidd?!" yells the gamer.

 _"Do you like neon genesis evangelion or the rebuild better?"_

Marcoplier raises his arms in disbelief. "Hold on! Earlier in this conversation you asked me what neon genesis evangelion even was, and now you know what it is and it's rebuild series? Make up your damn mind Evie!"

"Rebuild series is best series."

"What do you guys think? Me personally-"

 _"It is an anime produced by Gainax."_

"Yeah, that's what the original nge is."

"Anyway, I'm torn on the two versions. On the one hand, the rebuild series has better animation, quite the spectacle-you know what, I should probably focus on Evie for now, Evangelion's too much of a big thing to discuss in a short chapter like this."

"Do you know what else is produced by Gainax?"

"If she says herself, then we all got the ultimate answer."

 _"Do you want to tell me?"_

"...No, I want you to guess."

 _"What do you want me to do, lover?"_

Marcoplier almost falls from his chair in sheer shock. "First of all, I told you to guess!"

"Second of all, lover?! Don't you go around insulting me, I'm not your lover!"

"We are not lovers."

 _"Can you guess if I am a guy or a girl?"_

"Well, the long hair and feminine voice suggests you're a girl."

"Are you a girl?"

 _"No... Are you?"_

"What?! NO!"

"I ain't no girl, ya daughter of a son of a bitch!"

He said that in the microphone, and then came the translation. "I invent straw pearl, your slaughter oven sun orca leash?!"

 _"*begs* let me be your slave! Please!"_

"What?! Okay, so apparently, in idiotese, that bunch of nonsense convinces the person you're talking with to want to become your slave. People tend to ask what is wrong with Evie, I think they should start asking what is right with her."

"Why do you wanna be my slave?"

 _"Please, let me keep you happy Master."_

"Why is it that I don't feel weird about being the owned, yet I'm weirded out as balls now that I'm the owner? Maybe it's because I own Evie, of all slaves."

"How can you make me happy?"

 _"What can I do to make you happy?"_

"I just asked you that, you dumbass!"

"Yes, answer me."

"I am the one that will love you for all of eternity."

 _"Wrong answer."_

He said that in the microphone. And again, the translation wasn't even close. "Tong panzer?! What the fuck is up with the microphone?!"

 _"I would never do such a thing!"_

"DO WHAT?!"

"You would never do what?"

 _"What would you never do to me?"_

"Okay, clearly somebody skipped language class in kindergarten, because someone won't stop answering questions with questions!"

"When I ask you something, you're supposed to give me an answer."

 _"There is no meaning to life."_

"Okay, let's do a recap: First, the microphone fucks me over and Evie apologizes. Then I find out she likes nachos and try to go on a date with her, which leads to nowhere. Then she asks me if I'm a boy or a girl, then changes topics to Twilight, then we discuss anime, which version of Evangelion is better, then she thinks we're lovers, then she tries to make me guess if she's a girl or a guy, THEN the microphone fucks me over again and she wants to become my slave, **THEN** she answers my question with another question, and _NOW_ , after telling her how this works, she says there's no meaning to life."

"How is it that in a world where I live with a magical princess from another dimension, who I go with through countless interdimensional adventures to all kinds of dimensions and weird places, I find Cleverbot Evie to be the single weirdest thing I've ever encountered?"

"That's it, I'm done, I don't wanna risk having my brain be deteriorated by this dumbass."

"Anyway, thank you guys so much for watching, if you want more content you can check out either Exotos135 or SonicELITE's accounts. And if you have suggestions for games or things like Evie I could play, let me know in the comments below. And as always, I will see you...in the next fanfiction. Adios!"

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Marcoplier tries the microphone option one last time. "Why does the microphone option suck?"

The translation was an absolute disaster. "Cry lows be styrofoam lotion block!?"

 _"So what you want to do?"_

"I want this damn microphone to stop fucking up my words!"


	14. Boibot (Part 2)

"Okay then, let's see if Boibot's microphone option works better than Evie's, because that option had absolutely atrocious translation works." remarks Marcoplier before saying, "Hello everybody, my name is Marcoplier, and welcome to BoiBot." to the microphone.

Then came the translation. "Yellow Lenny Bobby, insane ass park multiplier, und falcone to Bongspot."

...

"Nope, it's not any better."

 _"Mine's green. Because it makes me want to eat something. And I like eating stuff. Roar."_

"I'm starting to think I might not be ready to handle the stupid sequel known as BoiBot.""

"I met your sister, I hope you're not as dumb as her."

"...Have Evie and BoiBot ever been confirmed to be related?"

 _"I don't have a sister. And if I had one, she would be smarter than me."_

"If that's the case, then I can already tell I'm gonna be pissed by the end of this chapter. This should be fun!"

"How smart are you?"

 _"Boys and girls of every age Wouldn't you like to see something strange?"_

"I already am, I'm looking at you."

"How smart are you?"

 _"Come with us and you will see, this our town of Halloween..."_

"Oh! He's singing the intro song of that Tim Burton movie! The Something Before Christmas! Okay, uh..."

"What a way to make a living!"

"Shit, that's the wrong song!"

 _"This Halloween, everybody make a scene."_

"On second thought, let's try to deviate from this."

"Do you like God of War?"

"Me personally, I couldn't care less about it."

 _"Its our town, everybody scream in this town of halloween."_

"Could you please stop singing and answer me properly?"

"Do you like God of War?"

 _"This is Halloween! This is Halloween! Pumpkins scream in the dead of night!"_

"Is that how the song goes? Fine, if you wanna sing, I'll sing with you."

"This is Halloween! This is Halloween! Shut the fuck up and give an answer that's right!"

"What? I never said I was going to follow the song."

 _"Trick or treat until your naborhors are dead with fright."_

"Narborhors? The hell are narborhors?"

"Who are the narborhors?"

 _"In this town of Halloween."_

"No, who are they in general?"

 _"Wouldn't you like to see something strange."_

"Okay, I need to break him out of his trance or else I'm gonna be here forever."

"I hate your face."

 _"Let's start 9ver."_

"9ver?"

"What is 9ver?"

 _"Let's start over."_

"NO! Never again!"

"Do you like Hotel Transylvania?"

 _"I have only seen a few episodes."_

"I think you mean minutes, 'cause Hotel Transylvania is a movie."

"Of what show?"

 _"I do but I haven't read but a few books."_

"Of what?!"

 _"Have you ever read Trinity Blood?"_

"Is that like an anime visual novel or something?"

"I don't do visual novels, bitch."

 _"Did you enjoy it?"_

"I don't know, I never read it!"

"Have you read it?"

 _"I have heard bits and pieces."_

"Read. The correct term is read."

 _"But I have an organic brain!"_

"That literally has no relevance to this conversation."

 _"Yes literally. Check your left hand."_

Marcoplier takes a quick look at the designated hand for a moment and then replies with, "I saw nothing."

 _"You didn't check it, did you? LIAR."_

"I did check it, I just didn't find anything special about it!"

"I did, you stupid piece of software!"

 _"Exactly. You lied to me."_

"Oh, because I said that after he called me a liar."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire." he said this to the microphone.

Then came the translation, "Buyer, buyer, ants bo spire?"

 _"Because everyone wants to be the 'chosen one'."_

"Yeah, being a "chosen one" is pretty damn overrated. I mean, someone getting picked by something for a great destiny has gotten really old."

"Like who?"

 _"I didn't say everybody wants everything to be the 'chosen one'. Can't you read?"_

"I can, and what you currently said is the complete opposite of what you said earlier!"

"That's a contradiction of what you said earlier!"

 _"But school is almost over."_

"That's...true."

"What will you do in summer then?"

 _"I shall turn you into a bowl of soup."_

"WHY?! Literally all I've been doing up to this point is talk with you like a normal person would!"

"Why would you do that?"

 _"Then you are my girlfriend."_

"WHAT?!"

"I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

"That's an edited reference to Chowder, for those that don't get it."

 _"No, you are not my friend Mr. Red Baboon."_

Marcoplier grabs his hoodie and pulls it up in confusion. "What the hell is going on right now? What is life right now? What did I eat or drink this morning that made these current events happen right now?"

"Have I gone nuts?"

 _"Because, I don't know you."_

"That's it, chapter's over, I can't and won't stand another second in the presence of this knucklehead!"

"So that's all for today's chapter, everybody, this was quite the doozy. I really shouldn't have played this game a day after I played Evie, it doesn't bode well for my sanity. But anyway, thank you guys so much for watching, check out Exotos135's or SonicELITE's channel for more content. And I'll see you...in the next fanfiction. Adios!"

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"What do you think of boys in dresses?"

 _"I think you're very interesting, but still more of a novelty."_

"Yeah, I'm the first ever Disney Princess who's a guy and not a princess, how crazy is that?"


	15. Nacho Attack

Marcoplier jokingly threw nachos at Star. "Stop it, are you ever gonna run out of nachos?" Star whined.

"No." Marco answered. "Because I work at the nacho factory!"


	16. Chimpbot (Part 3 and Finale)

Marcoplier adjusts his glasses as he speaks. "Hello everybody, my name is Marcoplier, and welcome to the end of the Cleverbot trilogy: first it was Evie, who pissed me off, then Boibot, who pissed me off even more, and now it's Chimpbot, who's going to drive me insane with what I'm going to do today, and will hopefully help me end on a high note since this is the last chapter!"

"We meet again, my primate enemy."

Then came the translation. "Be leet spain, sky inanimate liberty."

 _"E vero ma posso provare dei sentimenti sai?"_

"WHAT THE HELL?! What did he say?! He, she, yes, whatever the hell this damn thing is! Hold on a second, let me figure it out."

 **(10 seconds later)**

"Okay, so apparently that was italian. He said it's true, but does he have sentiments I know about? We've barely even started, and I already have no idea what the hell is going on."

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

Then came the translation, "Bow my shell, amish luxury to glow?"

 _"Point taken. I don't have any right to talk down to people."_

"Yeah, because if there's anything I've proven at this very moment, is that you shouldn't talk down to people."

"This is the last chapter I'll post in this thing, could you please try not to drive me crazy?"

Translation: "Pisces too fast hangar ill host beverling, mold cheese sky motto alive my Jessie."

 _"She's heading for something that she won't forget."_

"Who is "she"? Is she Star? Is she Jackie-well, with the way the monkey worded it, it could be either of them, really."

"Who are you talking about?"

Translation: "Owl ash glue spanking aloud?"

"WHAT?!"

 _"Having no regrets is all that she really wants."_

"Again, who is "She"?!

"Who is she?"

Translation: "Lewis Bee."

"Oh come, that's nothing like what I just said."

 _"We're only getting older babe."_

"You heard that, Disney? Everybody's only getting older, so release you better speed up your stuff!"

"Cue the flying pigs."

Translations: "Blue Electrifying Jigs."

 _"We're only getting older baby, and I've been thinking about you lately."_

"This is a song, isn't it? I'll be back when I manage to get back on track."

 **(100 tries later)**

 _"I would like to talk you in spanish."_

"Alright, now we're getting fucking somewhere."

"Puedes hablar en español?"

Translation: "Jueves lavar pimenton."

Marcoplier looked particularly insulted at the translation. "First you fuck up my normal sentences, and now you fuck up my own language?! Well, not my own, but what I consider my third tongue?!"

 _"I feel for you. I think we will be good friends."_

"Thanks you, but that's not spanish!"

Marco wrote the next. "Let's keep talking in english, I can't stand the microphone butchering my third tongue."

 _"Okay. I have a base now, which is just in time since it just became dark."_

"It "just" became dark? It's been dark since this chapter started!"

And then he returned to the microphone. "You don't need a base to light up the place."

Translation: "Bison steedy taste and fight shovel race."

 _"I don't have one. I'm making a stone sword right now so."_

"I think Chimpbot's just as confused as I am. And since I almost fried my brain with Boibot and Evie, I don't want to reach the point where Chimpbot will melt away all that's left."

"So that's all for today, everybody! Sorry if I ended in a disappointing note, but if there's one thing that I learned from Boibot and Eviebot, is that playing anything inspired by them can be dangerous for your brain."

"If you liked this chapter, well, I'm glad. If you didn't...I apologize. But anyway, thank you guys so much for watching, check out Exotos135 and SonicELITE's accounts for more content, and I'm proud to say...that I could see you, in the last fanfictions. Adios!"

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And then, Marcoplier gets an idea. "Actually, let me try something: Aren't you too young to be a monkey?"

 _"You said you were a wife. And yes I am too young to be married."_

Marcoplier was rendered speechless. "Chimpbot, ladies and gentlemen."


End file.
